In my first Ummrah, I learned my favorite changing Methodology. Fake it, till you make it. Sometimes we do argue a lot about the importance of kind of change, or the validation of a thought. But the problem is, all through the argument, we are already practicing the wrong thing, so we are filled with it by a way that makes it hard to leave it.
What I mean, It was known that being near to Allah, and worshiping him is a very beautiful thing. Yet, just knowing is different than experiencing. So in Umrah, I learned to experience stuff before I am fully convinced with.
At age of 15, I had this belief that hijab is just about hiding everything but the face and both hands. But how to hide it, was never my issue. So I used not to wear really hijaby. If someone is wearing Abaya, or whatever that is considered more hijaby..was kind of style, It rarely caught my eyes or thoughts anyways. Most girls are like this by the way. It’s not like we mean to wear non-hijaby. It’s just that we didn’t realize that this is non-hijaby. So realization that how I was wearing is wrong, didn’t come through arguments or people’s comments. As the majority do the same, so whoever comments is extreme, “you know”. Also, this realization of seeing the right thing, beautiful wasn’t there. As you see the Hijaby girl looks not familiar..looks not beautiful..etc. Not because she is not beautiful, but because my eyes is used to that beauty is in the wrong way. As that’s what I see in Media all day, and around as well.
How I really realized this was through two things: Wearing Abaya in the Umrah, seeing everyone around wearing Abaya or very hijaby..so I felt the difference between what I was wearing..and how I should be. In my heart, I just realized this. The 2nd reason was boycotting TV ( but this is another story. ).
I didn’t wear hijaby right after my first trip, it took me 8 months to do so. I was trying step by step. Until I realized that I need to do this technique again !..I started wearing Abaya only for a month to feel more senstive towards what is Hijab or No. What’s funny is that I couldn’t take off this Abaya only style for a year, until my family asked me to randomize my clothes more as long as they fit my concepts.
Anyways, the point is that what made me realize how I should be more hijaby..wasn’t talks..it was living this daily for some time. As how your brain see this, is your biggest barrier. Like ..Does your brain see niqab as the tent? 😀 ..okay then even if I convinced you that niqab is fard..you are having a vision problem that will always make you can’t do it. While if you experienced what’s right yourself, you start affecting this vision by a very strong way.
Hijab was just an example that happened to me. Yet you might have experienced this there in many other ways: like praying on time, being awake and active all day, thinking and reflecting more than usual..etc.
I used this technique in most of my changes later on. When I thought that TV ( majority of Movies and TV Series ) is Haram and wrong. I found that discussing this while I am addicted to TV and many TV series..won’t work. So I had to stop it for some time first. After stopping it, I started to realize how different is my life with this new concept..and I started to see the drawbacks, the bad concepts I had, TV’s effect..studying the whole thing was easier and more effective.
This was just a changing methodology I learned over there, Fake it, till you make it. I guess that’s how being out of comfort zone is. It makes you feel weird and bad..till you just get why is here is better than the smaller zone you were in.