So Recently, I can hardly end a week without knowing about someone dying. I start to read about him/her, know about how people miss them and see them after their death.
There is a lot of things that might not have a straight forward logic. Yet, because they are happening, you must believe in them. I believe in death, but not by logic. It’s just true. It happens everyday. I feel it is such a mysterious event.
Part of me finds tranquility in death. Sometimes, I wish I was in their place, dying. It’s beautiful. For sure, after this wish by just 1 second, I start to realize that life after death needs more work.
I just feel, wow you are home. I wish you are home. I wish you won’t realize that you lost it all. It would be a great lose, if you realized you failed in this test, after it is over.
Sometimes, I wish we can see what is really happening to them after death. This reminded of surat yassen. We knew what happened in the moment the guy died.
In 2011, I met a guy who was with me at school at a volunteer work I had. I never met him after that. It was just few minutes and he mentioned that day that one of the girls of our batch just died very soon. This girl left our school before high-school, and when I was younger, there was no internet in the way it is now, so when someone leaves school, you lose contact with unless he was a near friend. So when he said that, it broke my heart. I started to ask her best friend about this and she had no idea. She said they didn’t speak in years. I felt sad that she died.
Then years later, I saw her in street lol. So It turned out the guy was wrong. But while seeing I was like, okay so why are you so relaxed now?. You still don’t know anything about her, you don’t chat her, you don’t show her any love.
Sometimes, people are dead, but in our lives not in life generally. Yet, we don’t appreciate their death. Although when they really die, we would appreciate them.
Yet, with one more death news. I think again. What are my complexities with death. I find myself thinking about my turn. May be, I am next. May be, I will die now while blogging, or while just thinking. I don’t know. How will people remember that?. What?. People?. And such thought about caring about how the universe reminded me of Uncle. An old post written by colleague 2 years ago. I was an editor for this magazine at that time. I remember while reading, I found it very rude. How all of this would really happen.
Social Network that turns us all into celebrities, made how things look from outside matter most. While, thinking into a real logical way. Who cares about what is going to happen after your death in earth?. Earth is not lasting anyways, so why are you so attached to, even when you are gone?.
Another death news while thinking, and again I think. So is it like I will live till everyone I know die?. What’s wrong with our time. Why do everyone die that young?. Did they die that young earlier too?. May be, It is time to try to appreciate everyone around. You never know who is next.
And while checking more news, I knew a friend got cancer. I don’t really know what is Cancer. How much painful it is, or how it works. I was rude enough before to ask a cancer patient about this. He tells he got cancer, he tells he reached a bad stage, then suddenly he is dying step by step and everyone is watching and waiting the news. People are hopeless about the cure. Didn’t he get cancer in just one second, why won’t he lose it in another second. Why do you consider him from the dead people, when anyways, a lot of other died without any cancer?. Why do you consider him from the dead people because he will die one day, when we would all die one day anyways. May be, he was lucky.
I know someone who died out of cancer, Yet, I know someone who lived with it.
This life is full of complexity, but the biggest complexity is how we see it.