Sometimes, we got those worries about how things will happen. We start to wish knowing the unseen, how things are prepared for us, how our hopes will really happen. We got those moments, when we lose our hope in having this dream to come true one day when we can’t see any of the unseen..this post, is for those moments!
There was a surprise party, prepared for you especially. Let’s say a birthday one?. You knew it is your birthday in 3 days already, you were worried if anyone will remember you. You got a lot of friends, so you started to imagine how they will show you your place in their hearts. You were lonely recently, that’s why your heart is looking for any kind of their presence.
In the background, your friends talked and planned for a party, yet not at your birthday day, as they wanted to surprise you and they thought you would expect it after 3 days anyways. Instead, they acted as if they forgot your birthday day, and most of them didn’t say anything and a minority said it without showing any special love or appreciation.
On that day, how would you feel? The issue wasn’t that they forgot you for you that day..the real issue was you WAITING their action. So you felt down and you lost hope in the unseen.
You were wishing that if they were planning anything you would at least have any hint, so you would feel relaxed of the dark thoughts..right?
Let’s go back to point one, and add your scenario.
Your birthday after 3 days, and you met one of those friends. This friend finds it very hard to hide anything, it is part of her personality. So you were talking and you were saying that in the day they planned – she knew-, you are going to travel..so she is like! NOO DON’T! or she panicked. So you noticed and the talk went until she said everything about the surprise..ugh, surprise! it is no more a surprise.
So she told you please don’t tell them, and to just help them in making their surprise come true. And that they were going to wait you to come at this day, this hour to surprise you.
So now, you are heading to your birthday party -the surprise one- while you know!. So how different will be your happiness?..How you will fake your surprise? How you will try to choose the best thing to wear with a girly normal obsession?..
When you feel everything is fake..I know you will have this moment, of wishing you didn’t know and you were just surprised.
You know who enjoys surprises most? It’s not exactly to tell who they didn’t wait it. Personally, being 100% surprised before always lol as I am someone who doesn’t notice or wait something to happen…the surprise itself is never the source of enjoyment.
You know how I do seriously enjoy? I enjoy how I already know their love and appreciation without a surprise even. I enjoy, when I know they will always be there, and notice what I need in a specific moment. I enjoy, that even when I am lonely and down, I know I can return to them..and I know if they knew, they would be here without my request.
I don’t need to see how they talk on my back, to know how they feel towards me. Some friends of mine, come and tell me I told my mum about you. I usually feel, I already know..the way we appreciate each other would seriously cause this anyways.
So..back to our topic. I was in 2014’s Summer, and I was seriously down. It was Ramadan, I was a graduate, I decided not to apply to any jobs and take a break to re-think everything and plan for my life. I wasn’t at home, I went with family to a place that got only sea and no internet, no friends…near to Alexandria. And I was reading by then Islam between East and West by Alija Izetbegović . It is an awesome book, but it pushed me to feel down while realizing its thoughts…and how everything around was just a lie so you lose your base while reading…it changed my life anyways. So reading such a book in front of the sea alone, and there were no other strangers that much. Thinking about how I got nothing, no plans, and I can’t accept living everyday like the day before..
I remember that night I was praying Tarweeh, and I just felt hopeless. I was like, there is nothing in the unseen planned for me. am I going to find the life-style I want? am I going to have everyday like the day before? am I going to find a life partner? am I going to have kids? am I going to have this passion or work..? ..what exactly am I going for?
These 2 months break for graduation’s goal was to reach this moment..when I understand that it is all my own plan (if Allah wills for sure), but I mean I don’t have to do anything because it is what should happen in society or anything alike. Yet, this moment wasn’t kind at all. It was harsh, it reminded me of all the failed plans, of all the lost chances, it told me how I might be responsible for all my choices without any external help..may be Allah is planning nothing for me..I had this moment. And I don’t feel shy or bad to confess this, because actually just reading Quran in this prayer through these moments..I was hit very hard by this verse: “Nor would Allah reveal to you the unseen. – وَمَا كَانَ اللَّهُ لِيُطْلِعَكُمْ عَلَى الْغَيْبِ”
It was just a huge hit. It was an enlightenment moment in my life. I had this surprise party metaphor by then. You can’t ruin not knowing the unseen, and I felt like me asking this friend if they are planning anything, and she would answer..NUHAA! I would never reveal to you the unseen!.. So I would stay hoping that something is happening, yet with a little worry..I don’t know I am human.
The whole verse is actually awesome, it was told to believers in a very hard condition:
The Arabic expression of “ما كان الله ليذر” ..Allah would not leave the believers..is just so kind and merciful. And to get the idea of that life struggles is to show how good you are, how trusting you are, how present and how patient. I just love this verse a lot. Sometimes I feel I have never read before that day, although I am sure I read a lot before. But the way Quran verses fixes how everything you passes by, is just incredible. I have a lot of verses that hit me in the right time. I believe it is part of the unseen how I always read and feel the most effective verse to my case in the right time. And you start to pray to Allah knowing that every prayer is taken into consideration.
Alhamdu lAllah that there is unseen, Alhamdu lAllah. You don’t need to know the unseen, to trust Allah and to enjoy everything you are passing by.
Just think about, and have a great day.